Remember those days when having an older married man pay for things for young unmarried ladies was such a no no? Well .. I do! Such a woman would be the subject of gossip and ridicule. Back then mistresses and concubines were done in secret. Well in today's Nigeria, I think it is so out there and open. I've met girls who openly tell me their " boo" who happens to be married and who pays for a lot of their bills and more. Even married men openly flaunt their girlfriends by taking them on trips and to parties, one begins to wonder about the vows that were taken.
Married men openly chase single girls like it a sport. Don't get me wrong I am not claiming to be high and mighty ( covers face) but it has become so prevalent in our society and slowly becoming norm. A friend of mine mentioned to me to keep a boyfriend that I would like to marry but have a " sponsor" on the side. As tempting as it may be to have one rich man subsidize my life style, I don't believe much good can come of it in the long run (I like to think of my self as a big picture looker) . A big factor in a woman's life is her reputation, I would rather be known as the girl who slept with a married man because she loved him then be the girl who did it for a trip abroad, house rent or CL shoes.
And to the married men, if you think you respect your wife enough for her not to find out but every one else knows but her, is that true respect ? Also if you must have an affair isn't it wise to have just one girlfriend? Men sleep around with any girl that is willing forgetting that she may have several other partners. Na so SDI & HIV de enter equation.
Ladies can we truly dance to " independent women" when it starts playing, knowing that you didn't pay for your bag, shoes or car? And if you have a job but want to live the lifestyle you see other girls living isn't that wanting to live above your means or plain greed? Why not work harder for the the things you want. I kind of understand when girls from poor homes do the necessary things to ensure she gets an education and feed their familes. How hard is it to be content with what we have and use that to motivate us to work harder.
To be honest, some men make it very difficult not to fall
for the temptation. A man once offered 50 thousand Dollars cash to
spend the night with a him. Till this day I wounder what would have
happened if I got out of that car and spent the night with him. One day I
will make that kind of money on my own and afford all the things I want
but till then I make do with what I have and of course accept freebies (lol).
I am not looking down on any one's hustle, you can do you. But what values are we going to instill in our children ? What kind of society are we gonna leave behind if we let things like this become okay?
There are so many things to worry about let us not add broken values for marriage and relationships be one of them especially for those of us who are not married yet.