30 is not the new 20- Meg Jay

Okay, this saddened me a little but hopefully it will help someone else. I wish I had some of this knowledge at 24; I would be on a much better life path now. It may never be too late to make changes to one life but one would have lived a better life if the right changes were made earlier.

Staying friends

 
What really is the point of staying friends with one's ex ? I had to ask my self this question a few days ago when I found out an ex of mine was getting married and another contacting me to rekindle our relationship.

I've had my fair share of love and relationships and I in most cases stay friends with men I dated, I am not sure why. There really is no rule as to why I should or shouldn't be friends with them. When do I say no to remaining friends with someone who chose not to be in my life or to one who I decided wasn't deserving of my affection?

So I've been asking my self why should I remain friends with a recent ex of mine who is getting married. He insists that we remain good friends and I still mean a lot to him and still wants me in his life. My first thought was " Why are humans to selfish? Why must he eat his cake and have it? and as his "friend" should I pretend to be happy he is marrying someone other than me?" Then I looked back and realized I too have broken up with someone and still expected him to remain my friend. I wanted him to remain in my life because he is a wonderful guy (wasn't wonderful enough at the time to me, to take it to the next level)  but I still wanted to have him in my life.

So here I am hurt but in realization that I too have done the same. Do I remain friends with him and pretend to be happy, just as I expected from someone else ? Why?.... because friends are meant to be happy for each others growths and successes. Or should I shut him out of my life seeing that I do have enough friends already?

I will let y'all know what I decide.

Waiting for prince charming in his white bentley

“Are u married? “This question seems to follow me everywhere. It is slowly becoming a much disliked one too. It seems that being married is a status that defines a woman, in Nigeria. 

I’ve always wanted to marry in my late 20s and here I am with no boyfriend or suitors in tow. I do not believe marriage is the high light of a woman’s life, but we women reach a stage of maturity where marriage is the next logical, emotional, physical, spiritual and even financial step to make. It’s a hot topic for ladies in their mid to late 20s. I seldom have a chat with my girlfriends and the topic does not arise. 

To me marriage is in accordance to God’s word, also it is to have one person I share my world with through thick and thin. We will not always be in-love with one another but the love and respect we have for each other is a bond that will see us through years of challenges, joy, sadness, laughter etc. Marriage is about raising healthy well grounded individuals who will become positively contributing members of their society. 

I am fortunate not to be pressured by my parents and family but the rate at which my mates are getting married … eh!… it’s hard not to have constant thoughts about the M word.

So many times I pray for that one person that knows me so well and vice versa that we are able to see through any storm life may throw at us. But before you start weathering life’s storms as a married couple we must get through dating and courting. That’s another ball game on its own. 

So I guess what I am trying to say is , as much as we all want to be married, these things take time, wisdom and prayers. Lord knows you don’t wanna be stuck with the wrong person. Being from a culture that looks down on divorce it is important to focus on what you have to do (Job, school, career etc) and everything else will fall into place.